How to Navigate a Relationship When Your Partner Is Stuck in Diet Culture
Diet culture is everywhere—it’s in our social media feeds, our workplaces, our family gatherings, and, sometimes, even in our most intimate relationships. If you’re in a relationship with someone who is deeply entrenched in diet culture—constantly counting calories, labeling foods as "good" or "bad," or expressing guilt over eating certain things—it can be challenging to know how to navigate the relationship with them while maintaining your own healthy mindset around food and body image.
If you’re struggling with this dynamic, you’re not alone. Here are some ways to navigate a relationship when your partner is stuck in diet culture.
1. Set Boundaries Around Diet Talk
If constant calorie counting, weight loss discussions, or negative body talk are affecting your mental health, it’s okay to set boundaries. Let your partner know that it’s important for you to protect yourself and you don’t want to participate in diet culture conversations.
You could say:
"I’m trying to have a healthier relationship with food, so I’d rather not talk about calories or diets. Let’s focus on how we feel instead of what we eat."
By setting boundaries, you’re protecting your own well-being while modeling a more positive approach to food and body image.
2. Share The Impact
If it feels safe, you can share about the ways diet culture has impacted you and how your partner’s continued participation in diet culture impacts you. This can be a vulnerable and difficult conversation, so its’ important to consider whether you feel ready for this conversation and if you think your partner will be perceptive. This is a great opportunity to talk about this conversation in therapy to explore whether you feel ready and safe enough to broach the subject with your partner.
3. Lead with Compassion and Curiosity
If you feel ready to have a conversation with your partner, you can try to discuss your beliefs about the harms of diet culture with them. It’s easy to feel frustrated when someone you love is caught up in diet culture, especially if you’ve worked hard to free yourself from it. However, it’s important to remember that your partner has likely internalized these beliefs over many years. Diet culture is deeply ingrained in our society, and unlearning it takes time. Instead of criticizing their behaviors, approach the topic with empathy and curiosity.
Try saying:
"I’ve noticed that you seem really stressed about food lately. Is there anything I can do to support you?"
This opens up a conversation without making them feel attacked.
4. Share Resources (When They’re Open to It)
Your partner might not be ready to challenge their beliefs about diet culture, but if they show interest, you can gently introduce them to alternative perspectives. Share books, podcasts, or social media accounts that promote intuitive eating, body neutrality, or a weight-inclusive approach to health. Ideally, your partner takes on the work of educating themselves and working on their biases rather than you needing to constantly educate them.
5. Model Joyful Movement & Eating Without Rules
If your partner is constantly focused on food rules or exercise for weight loss, you can model different ways of engaging with food and movement such as joyful movement and Intuitive Eating. Suggest activities you can do together that prioritize enjoyment over "burning calories," like hiking, dancing, or playing a sport for fun. Similarly, cook meals together that focus on taste and satisfaction rather than restriction. Show them that food can be a source of nourishment and pleasure, not guilt.
6. Build Supportive Community Elsewhere
It can be so difficult to have your partner be stuck in diet culture when you have worked hard to challenge beliefs and find a healthier relationship with food for yourself. Ideally our partners are a primary source of support and reassurance, and when a partner is limited in this way it can be really disappointing. If you stay in a relationship with a partner who is stuck in diet culture, it can be extra important to seek out fat positive community and friendships outside of the relationship.
7. Accept That You Can’t Change Them & Consider What This Means For The Relationship
At the end of the day, your partner has to come to their own realizations about diet culture. You can set boundaries, and lead by example, but you can’t force them to change their mindset. If their relationship with food and body image is negatively impacting your own well-being, it’s okay to reflect on whether the relationship is serving you.
If diet culture is a major source of conflict or causing emotional distress, couples therapy or individual therapy might be helpful. Sometimes, having a neutral third party can make these conversations more productive.
Final Thoughts
Loving someone who is stuck in diet culture can be difficult, but by approaching the situation with empathy, setting healthy boundaries, and modeling a positive relationship with food and body image, you can navigate this challenge while protecting your own well-being.
Remember: You don’t have to engage in diet talk, and you deserve a relationship where you feel supported in your values. By prioritizing compassion and communication, you can foster a healthier dynamic for both you and your partner.
If you feel you need more support, either individually or as a couple, I specialize in helping people navigate weight stigma and diet culture in relationships, and I’d love to support you on your journey. If you are ready for specialized support, please feel free to reach out. You can call me at (424) 231-5877 or send me a note here.