Three Steps to Validating Feelings

In a world where emotions can be overwhelming, learning to validate someone's feelings is an essential skill for building meaningful connections and fostering empathy. Validating someone's emotions does not mean you necessarily agree with them, but it shows that you respect and acknowledge their feelings as genuine and understandable. In this blog post, we will explore three fundamental steps to effectively validate someone's feelings: listening attentively, reflecting on their emotions, and offering genuine validation.

Step 1: Listen Attentively

The first and most crucial step in validating someone's feelings is to be an active and attentive listener. When someone is sharing their emotions, give them your full presence without interruption or judgment. Show genuine interest in what they have to say, making eye contact and providing verbal and non-verbal cues to indicate that you are engaged in the conversation.

Avoid the temptation to offer solutions or advice immediately. Sometimes, all someone needs is a compassionate ear to vent their emotions and process their feelings. By giving them the space to express themselves freely, you are demonstrating that their emotions are valued and deserving of attention.

Step 2: Reflect Their Emotions

After actively listening to the person's feelings, take a moment to reflect back what they shared. Before moving to empathizing or validating, take the time to repeat back to them what you heard. This can show them that you are truly listening and trying to understand their experience, and also give them an opportunity to share more or correct you if you haven’t understood them fully. You can start with a sentence like, “So what I heard you say is…..”

Step 3: Validate Their Feelings

Validation is a powerful tool that conveys empathy and support to the person sharing their emotions. To validate someone's feelings, express your acknowledgment and acceptance of their emotional experience. Let them know that their emotions are valid and understandable given their circumstances.

 Some validating statements include:

- "It's completely normal to feel that way."

- "Your feelings are important, and it's okay to be upset."

- "I understand why you would feel that strongly about it."

The important message in validation is essentially “It makes sense that you feel that way. You make sense.”

Remember, validation is not about fixing the situation or providing solutions. It is about showing compassion and understanding, creating a safe space for the person to express themselves without fear of judgment.

Validating someone's feelings is a powerful act of empathy and support. By actively listening, reflecting on their emotions, and offering genuine validation, you create a nurturing environment that fosters trust and emotional connection. Remember that each person's feelings are unique and valid, and by validating their emotions, you contribute to their emotional well-being and strengthen your bond with them.

Let us strive to be more empathetic and compassionate listeners, uplifting those around us by validating their feelings and showing that we genuinely care about their emotional experiences. Together, we can create a world where empathy thrives, and individuals feel heard, understood, and supported. If you or your partner struggle with validating each other’s emotions, especially during times of disconnect and conflict, I can help. You can call me at (424) 231-5877 or send me a note here.